comradmaarten

(possible story for the storyteller book, told to some young kid(s) please note the Duinspook is a invention of my dad which he regularly uses to annoy and yet amuse his offspring)

Once upon a time, not too long ago in the dunes close by, there was a young boy, no older then yourself I believe was traveling, all by himself.
He was a sturdy young lad, and while he was young he already had many adventures, because of this he thought he could travel trough the dunes where ghosts and goblins wander all by himself, and because his parents where no more they could not let their complaints be heard.

He had often walked this trail, in the past whit his father, but his father was no more but that is a different story.
He had also traveled with a different group of people, but they are also not a part of this story, nor is the goal of this brave young mans journey, suffice it to say he had a goal and knew how to get there, or so he thought.

He thought he knew the way, but for some reason none of the trees looked familiar, and the path looked the same no matter which way he looked, he couldn't even tell the grass from one another!
At first he was confused, but it didn't take him long to realize this was the work of the Duinspook! He quickly remembered what his father told him about the Duinspook, the Duinspook is a scary creature that lives in the dunes and can manipulate all trees, grass and paths to make it all look the same or different.
He hates children, and whenever one enters his domain he will do his best to confuse the child and lure them into the darkness where they will never be heard from again, but he is weak and not strong enough to have influence on adults, especially not the adults of the village who where raised there. The Duinspook is a mean spook, but he is not evil, he just enjoys seeing people, be they foreign travelers or young village children stress, cry and become lost forever.
And now the boy was trapped by him, and he knew the Duinspook had a good time because he was very nervous and very scared, but then he remembered the advice his father gave him in case he ever would become the prey of the Duinspook, local adults are immune to the Duinspook so if you can find one go to that person, however the Duinspook can take the form of a person too so if you see someone you do not know, run away as fast as you can and don't let them get you, regardless of what they claim.

All good and well, but the boy could not see any adult near, to run to nor to run away from. But his father also told him that if he just did not show any stress, would just breathe in and out deeply a few times the Duinspook would soon get bored and leave him be, so the boy did just that.

And sure enough, after a few deep breaths he began recognizing trees, and after that he recognized the dents and bents in the road again, and yes he even saw the difference between the grasses once more, he mutterd ''silly Duinspook'' under his breath and followed his path again.

So remember fellas and lassies, when you cannot recognizing anything in the dunes, go to the adults you know and away from the adults you don't know, and if you cannot find any, do not stress and remain calm, because soon enough the Duinspook will leave and things will go back to normal, always remember these rules and tell them to all your friends, understood?

Its election time! local ones, for town councel and stuff.
And this is from MY party, on MY island, with MY dad on it (the 6th one)

PVDA vooruit!
Sterk en Sociaal!

I do not like this.

I do not like having nothing as a creative output but a blog nobody reads.

I do not like having no real responsibility or independence.

I do not like being alone, all the time.

I do not like being in the company of anyone I know here.


I do not like not being ABLE to be in the company of the people I know here.

I do not like not being able to meet new people here.

I do not like this awefull weather.

I do not like snow.

I do not like people playing whit the snow.

I do not like the winter

I do not like breaking my neck on the slippery roads.

I do not like freezing my fingers off when getting to school.

I do not like the summer.

I do not like hordes of tourists destroying the island I love.

I do not like valetines day, making people in relationships feel obligated and people without one feel suicidal

I do not like it that my arsehole of a brother is spending the weekend here.

I do not like noticing how glad my parents are to have him come over.

I do not like my parents feeling sorry for him because he got dumped for all
the right reasons and he was to stupid to see it coming or to be independent.

I do not like him getting the sympathy he does not deserve.

I do not like being seventeen and still behaving like a jelous whiner whenever the arsehole
comes up.

I do not like being this powerless.

I do not like being this weak.

I do not like not having anyone to talk to about this.

I do not like having to pretend to feel sorry for things I really couldnt care less about.

BUT

for some reason I DO like being negative, I wonder why.....

Fuck this life, Ill do my time, just a few more months, and this dependence will be gone forever.

First, Ill go to america.
over there I can re-make myself, be on my own feet some more.
Sure Ill still have a foster familly, but atleast I wont be held up agaisnt my fammily, and my past will be gone for a while.
I can change there, reset my outside identity.
Ill get that tattoo.

After that year, I hope to return a changed man, thats right, a changed MAN, legally, emotionally and physically a full-fledged adult.
Ill go to college or something, furthering my education.

I will take the opportunity to travel.
I will learn what I can, inside and outside of the classes.
I will become a respectable person.
I will explore spirituality, even if I have been thought to scoff all forms of it I will find out for myself.
I will perform a ritual of some kind.
I will exercise in meditation and astral projection.

I WILL make sure I wont be dependent of someone who can cut me out like that.
I wont just call my parents to say Ill be there to spend the weekend in a few hours.
I will return phone calls and emails.
I will have ambitions for the future.
I wont spend all my money and free time partying.
I will be active for my society, for instance by becoming active in the Jonge Socialisten.
I wont be the loved disgrace of a generation.

Just a little note to remind myself, of who I am.

For many a year I have been talking about writing a book, because its something I simply must do, one of my primal life-goals.

One of the problems is, I have diffculty writing long storys about a single subject withouth making it illegible, I have difficulties dragging readers into situations.

But now I read about Allistor Crowly, nicknamed ''The wickedest man alive'', he was a occultist during the first half of the previous century, he was born in a tigh-ass Christian family but he decided those ideas of oppressing your selfish needs and pleasures where wrong, and he forged his own path.
He explored the fields of Sexuality and all forms of the occult, he wrote entire library's full of books detailing his findings, he was arrogant, freedom loving, mysterious, philosophical, controversial, elitist, in short, he is one of my personal heroes.

Thing is, he had major difficulties writing books in such a way other people would understand them too, if they where not already well known in the world of magicka.
For him, writing a book on magic that non-occultists could understand was like writing a book teaching the reader how to read.

What he did was having his students (yes he was a teacher of sorts, he was a walking GOD!) ask him questions and answering them, and posing those Q&A's as starter books, written as a informal interview, making it clearly legible.
Now that could be a way for me to write something too!! I get caught in trying to describe the background and nothing eventually happens, I could write something about a Historic teacher in a different universe teaching his know-it-all class, or of a dark wizard explaining his actions and life-view to someone else, a knight/ do goody wizard doubting his morality or a acolyte, something like that.

If someone can help me choose out of one of the book subjects and is willing to ask the questions, I can get something started!

Book Subjects I have in mind

A fictional history of Vampires, their origin, their powers, their influence on history, their culture things like that, based on true myths and lore and written as a interview of a vampire or vampire hunter (or both) to a outsider.

A new world order, a report of the progress from the world now to a Socialist European Soviet Union, written as a history teacher teaching his class.

A story of a magician in the modern world, who dwelled in different sources of lore and means of power and slowly began to become a dark God, maybe in the traditional manner written or maybe as he is teaching his new student pieced together from questions the student asks ''How did you learn to make good use of the blood and organs of your enemys?'' ''I was new in the dark world, I had ofcourse learned all of the lore from cannibalism all over the world but it wasn't until I tried several people myself that I learned different people in different situations have different effect and should be eaten differently.D
evourering a hated enemy is easy, but be sure to devour him/her in small pieces and give your body time to digest it, that way the soul is destroyed and the powers and wisdom pass on into you, however a loved one should be eaten with respect and prepared in a certain manner.
Eating a truly loved one can pass on tremendous powers when done properly, I have reason to believe this is because the spirit of this person is grateful for the respect you show them and rewards you for it, I learned the first ones of many different recipes from a tribe I found in Egypt, getting their trust was not easy as I had to find and ''liberate'' one of their ancient criminals, he was convicted of his crimes by being sealed into a tomb after his death for many a century and now his time was done, and I was to allow his soul to pass into the afterlife.....''
something like that?

Or how about this one? A man who goes to the same places all his life, convinced he is the only one with interesting thoughts because the rest of the people in his life never say anything worth listing too, he somehow gets a change in his aura, and for some reason people feel compelled to tell him their story (curse by dark wizard? cross-over of the teacher I mentioned before?) and he learns each of the people he previously dismissed as sheeple has a interesting story of their own, and unique thoughts, he starts it off convinced they have nothing to say but as the story progresses and he learns more from each of them it leads to a fascination, he begins using his power to learn from and about different people and collects all these stories in a booklet, he thinks its great because the storys are so out of there and nothing like anything the rest of the world considered likely to happen, but it becomes a bestseller because people recognize the story's as like their own, unique and yet numerous.

A story-teller of a different world who tells storys of their Gods, based slightly on story's of the various Pantheons of real world civilizations, it doesn't become clear whether he makes up story's on the spot, if he makes them up before or if they are true and he really did learn them the way he did (suchass being told by the Gods or other characters in his story's or being told in a pub during his travels, or even seen with his own eyes)

A slightly older woman who's life seems to be clear, children, job, friends, limited finances, things like that prevent her from having adventures, she starts a relationship with a younger man (details surrounding relationship between her and father of her children can be detriment later) and she tells him about the things she once wanted, her dreams and how she rolled into the life she has now, and helps and motivates the guy to pursue. (and for those who notice, yes I draw from raw-life experience)
Written by from switching between the guy and the womans POV, follows the storys as told by the woman and shows the developing determination and confidence of the guy, the story ends with the guy running away from the life he suddenly finds himself rolling in (via school and such) by hoping on a random train ready to begin his own story, flash forward to the woman some years later, finally ready to begin her own story together with the guy.

Ill post my other ideas here too, I also claim copyright on all these story's! so if you make millions of one of them better send the dough this way or I might sue you, dark magician style!

For about 16 years I lived here, I was a loser, a stupid little dweep, everybody around me seemed so much better at everything, all I could think of was staying friendly, and I even sucked at that.

But now, I go to a new school, a bit further away from my parents, I luckily took this chance to change myself, and I definitely prefer the new me.
I changed my apereances, I changed my manner of communicating, I even changed my core personality, I matured, I became more of who I want and need to become.

But I cannot put my history past me, not yet, every Friday afternoon I sit on the ferry landing-place, and I see all kinds of former classmates come by, the girl I kind of liked, the group of funny people I tried to be a part of, fruitlessly, the jerks who teased me in elementary, the little punch bag I tortured in high school, they all come past.
One of the annoying skinny girls became a bit more filled, the kinda cute girl seemed to look and behave like a slut, its like a weekly islander youth reunion, but I fall in my eternal role of watching, observing and judging.

Its strange seeing them, especially those slightly older then me, because last I knew them, they where little brats, and I had to look up to them, now they are hip-hop losers, and I look down on them.
It remains a strange experience, seeing the people I once sought acceptance from, and knowing that regardless of whether or not I still want it, they look at me as that sucker from a few years ago, and therefore Ill always be a outsider.

That is the slightly less fun part of the Friday, being reminded of what a loser I was and that odds are Ill be remembered as that person to allot of people, but once the boat lands and I step out to see the island shore, smell the sea, see the same cute little houses, with the same simple people and the eternally same atmosphere, I love it.
I'm growing up, I'm changing more and more from that wheep.

But till then, every weekend Ill be reminded of who I was, and see a bit of who the others are becoming, I travel back in time for a while, and then into the timeless paradise, it feels good to know that I can travel the world over, and always come back to the island that never changes, Circe herself would be jealous.

In a few months Ill be 18, after that Ill go to America, Im thinking I should get a tatoo, of the Coat of Arms of Terschelling, or of the island itself, kinda a reminder where Im from and a sign of apriciation of where I can always return to.

Hey, I got a classmate who has a oneliner written on his arm! I should get to be romanticly stupid too

Arrogant, assuming there is something like a different option.
It is sure humanity will grow extinct, time is everlasting, and once your ex tint, you're not making a come back. Plus species keep evolving all the time, so that means at some point the species we call human might be evolved to a point we don't recognize them, and of-course it means other species evolve all the time too, regardless of our existence.

Also, to think humanity somehow stops evolution is mindless, evolution is happening all the time, it just happens so very slowly we don't notice it, and we cannot comprehend the time between now and say the Ice Age and the subsequent rising of humanity, let alone the age of the world,

Crows (or where they ravens?) have what we long considered a purely human train, namely imagination, without ever seeing someone do it, they have been seen bending a piece of metal to a hook to fish out food out of a jar, I see great things for them in the future.
To think another species will get the civilizations we have is to have no historical insight, the buildings and governments and stuff worked for our species, but I dont think another specie will ever have the mind-over-body mindset required to create such a society, our limited imagination cannot comprehend how completely other species will change the world, will there be a clear dominant specie? multiple species competing and living side by side? I don't know, but I do know this, if given a choice Im going Ghost, or otherwise become eternal, God, Vampire, legend, Spirit, whatever I have to become, if it gives me the opportunity to see what leis beyond the chronological horizon Ill take it.

In other news, Mandolin practices have begun, Im going musical baby!

I have a brother, 3 years older then me.
people always talk about how great it is to have a older sibling, well they can have mine.

Ever since we where very little, it has been the same story.
Whenever we would be in the same place in public or whit someone he knew around, he would behave like a kindergarden bully to me, and everybody would love him.
All the time he apparently felt the need to show me how much better everybody likes him, for no reason whatsoever, there is nothing interesting about the guy!

Im standing at the ferry-port, he walks up to me asif hed like to talk, he stands within 2 feet of me when some random girl (who was in my class a few years ago) said his name, and bam, invisible I am.
Later, I was feeling sleepy so I tried taking a nap onboard, I feel something pulling my ear and giggling, and yes it was who you think it was, yet again, feels like old times, wich I hated.
I hate it, even though Im sure I am a better person, not just my ego talking but simply the fact I think about things, atleast try to help those who come to me with a problem and never tease or bully, people still like him better, alot.
It just sucks that everybody I know would prefer that a-hole anytime,

But when we get home, he did take time to help me with my new Mandolin, teaching me how to play tabs.
That was nice, but seeing as he cant be a good brother when someone else is around, or bother calling back my parents when they worry shitless about them, I can't wait till just a few years, when I will barely ever have to acknowledge his existence again.

My dad thinks its sad that he grew estranged whit his brother, I cannot wait to estrange.
And if my parents are a bit realistic, they know who is the one who might help them as they get older.

So many faces.
So many lives.
So many stories.
So many futures.
So many destinies.

I know most will fill the simple roles in life.
to live a life void of adventure, to be content and nothing more.

Please remind me never to do that.
To all who might ever read this, including the me of tomorrow and the days after, please, remind me to never just roll into a role and being on the level I dont hate it enough to risk changing it.

Now what did I just tell you? do not read, and yet your reading anyway, your a rebel, I like that.



this made me giggle.

Last year, this guy won ''the best job in the world'', getting paid to enjoy a tropical island and blogging about it.
Now, he got stung by a bloody stingray, the kind that can hospitalize a man.
I now wish he dies of this, so his gravestone can read ''somethingsomething, had just too much luck for one person, karma strikes again''


Also, Chanoeka.

Jewish people are stereotypicly very very cheap.
so what do they do to stop that stereotype? nothing, they have a RELIGIOUS holiday in wich they celebrate this ONE time someone didn't have refill lampoil way longer then expected, I mean comon!


Also, this.
Its a well known fact men want sex.
Its a slightly less well known fact women want that too.
How do we not have 24/7 anonymous sexclubs on every street corner?

awell, its 2010, just one more date on the calendar, couldnt really give a crap.

things happend to me this past year.

Lost the love :'(
Lost a friend
lost my last grandparent
lost patience
Lost hope
Lost my job (temporarily)
Lost my respectable grade average

2010 will come and go, things of meaning will happen in that time but the year wont have much to do with it.

May I find meaning and fufillment in the long term future.
and sleep in the short term future (its 6.40!)

May you lose your fingers in the fireworks and your money on a ''guranteed profit'' deal, maybe then youll pull your head out of your asses and learn a bit of what matters in life and how to fregging think for yourself.

This was a pointless log I will later regret from Insomniac land

Drop dead or become alive.

Christmas time is here, if only I could wish upon a star, the holidays would disappear, much to the joy of the suicidal s in the bar.

Once there was a fest for pagans, a time where you would share with your tribesmen, honor your gods and celebrate having outlived the first half of yet another harsh winter, of pride of your own part in it, and respect for the part of those around you.
Back then, it had meaning.

Then the Christians came, and ruined Christmas, by keeping allot of the traditions but claiming it for their evil overlord, God.

Now, Capitalists have taken the last pleasurable parts and destroyed it.
Every year, the same fucking Christmas specials on TV, the Internet is flooding with all kinds of Christmas crap, the streets are full of people forcing themselves to be ''cheery''

Im sick of it, Christmas is meaningless, spending time with the family? most of my family is far away and I cant help but think good riddance, I cant stand to spend time with my parents because they wont turn off those goddamn American TV specials, CRAP movies, CRAP music and a atmosphere of cheer and goddamn bullshit happiness that has NO place in this world.

Chirstmas makes those with loved ones feel obligated and makes those without feel terrible.
Im sick of a it, a fun Christmas to me would contain no gifts, no crosses, no worshiping of the bastard son of a fascist God, no chorals or TV, no kidnapping and killing a tree and decorating its corpse with plastic, and NO capitalism or monotheism.

What I want for Christmas? dress up in fur coats, go in the woods, slaughter a goat to Wotan and the other Gods who guide us, decorate a ancient holy oak to show it honor and respect and party all night long around a big bonfire roasting animals and having fun.

Put that in a standardized wrapping and shove it under a tree.

History is a wierd thing, making you look at things from a thousand different perspectives and leaving you unable to make a honest opinion out of it.

I was born 17 years ago, 20 years ago the iron wall fell.
so for me, its a page in my history book, from times long ago, but my parents and my teachers actually remember when it happed, remember a time where the cold war was not a part of history but a fact of life.

My mother once knew someone who's grandmother lived in the time of Napoleon, knowing that makes history look so different, I always considered all the historic facts to be connected but the connections are sometimes so short, and all seem to come from somewhere else.

Russia's tendency for violence and strong government or chaos? comes from the fregging Mongolians!
the Ottoman Empire? which lasted till WW1 just under a century ago? also direct offspring of the Mongolians.

The EU is like a revolution in Europe, a few years before there was WW2, but that was ideological blocks fighting one another, but before that there was WW1, witch really was states battling one another, not even hidden behind a ideology, less then a century later all of europe joins together out of free choice!! wtf!

I am stunned to know Nelson Mandela and Gorbatsjov are still alive, in my day and age! Or that my parents where raised in the days of student protesting, segregation and red scares.
Bill fucking Gates is still alive! in the days of ADSL the nerdy dad of Internet is still walking and spending!!

It just seems that, time is going too fast, and that I wont know what I could or should have done to make a difference until later, looking back.
Meh, writing a ''could have'' book at the end of my life would be cool, Id just rather write a ''DID IT, BITCHES!'' book.

All I can do is be up to date on the actuality, learn to see patterns from history and more importantly, always have a opinion and always be ready to enforce it!


But how can I do this, if I alienate those who could become or even have become friends? or more?
My brother, the one who is dumped by his GF he lived together with, saw a punk girl in the supermarket, not a hour later he had a date, gotten in a band and connected with a friends group!
He truly is the anti-me


For the speed of history, sometimes we just dont go fast enough, nowerdays theres still a unofficial and unwritten apartheid in effect in many parts of the world,people still get worked up on sporting events and illogical borders, the world is moving around our galaxy at 250 KM per second, Im afraid we humans just can't keep up, maybe evolution will give us that kick in the butt we so desperatly need.

Historical fact, the founder of the pro slavery group the Catholic Church, and often used patron for white supremist asses, Jesus Christ, was a black guy, as where all his apposteles, hows that for a mind fuck (always questiond the historic worht of the church-art, in wich everyone is physically fit, every man has a beard and every person in creation is white).

Just renember, Even though time goes by faster then a speeding bullet, you must never stop running in a attempt to keep up.

I renember the online substitude of lust
I renember the alternative of love
I renember the friendships, both real and short-lived.


Im soon done with the highschool, and then life will begin, with all he life-altering choices I could want, both small and big.
Ive learnt from the mistakes of others

Half bro thought me, thinking that getting good grades and working for school is lame, is a bad idea.
Mother thought me to not drop out, when you do, THEY win.
Father thought me to apriciate being able to have education coming first.
Brother thought me not to move in or otherwise fully commit to someone before being sure your both sure of it.
My job tought me something about working, sociability and things like that.

Havent I learned enough yet?
when will I get to learn from honest mistakes?
when will I get to show my true colours, for me and for those around me?

I have always been a work in development, will I live to see the day where I have a understanding of just who the hell it is I call me?

in my life I desire alot of things.
but the thing I desire most of all is a listening ear, comforting voice and a understanding person.
I want to be the guy people confide in, and trust, I want to be the one people turn to whit real questions expecting a real awnser.

And sometimes, I need someone like that, someone who will talk about nothing and pretend its something whit me, someone who can get passionate about the same things.

I will meet that someone, in time, till then, the world is my sea, and I am a oyster

*clam shuts*

Idesire power.
I want power.
I need power.

I want to amaze, to impress, to inspire.
I want my name to become known to all.
I want my life to have ment something.
I want people to use my name after Im gone, and to have everyone imidialty know who their talking about.
and it SHALL happen thusly.

I will establish contacts whit people from the world, create a global network of minds, each out for their own goals in life and each willing to share their lives whit me.
I will get official education, but not limit my knowladge and ideas to whats normal or needed.
I will travel the world, alone or whit compangy and gain a deeper insight of this world and the people in it.
I will write books, educate children.
I will provoce thoughts, I will renember the world of things like honest ambition, of progression, of the morals needed in a new age.
I will join politics, learn the social skills needed to make my way, I will advandce socialism, secularism and international soldidarity, I will serve to protect Nature from mankind and mankind from theirselves, I will help the EU overtrow the US as the global power.

I will one day have children, adopted or my own, and I will raise them to think for themselves, to stand above the masses, to forge their own legacy as I have.

From beyond the grave, I WILL be one of the forces that shape this world.
These are my goals, this I will achieve, call me arrogant, you would be right, but whitouth arrogance nothing can be achieved.

ignore me now, but one day, you wont be able to avoid me.

World, here I am, bring the best you got, whatever you can do, I will use the gifts all mankind has but are afraid to use, and I will leave my mark, a mark the world will bow down to out of respect!

''you incompetent moronic blibbering fool! are you deliberty trying to kill us all or do you just diddle away and see what happens?'' shouts Hogwarts least populair teacher as a sobbing Longbottem treis to make the green gas that fills the none ventilated dungeon go back in his cattle.


Snape lets the boy clumse around for a few minutes, causing some students to faint as the gas seems slightly poinsenus, he then completly removes all of the gas whit a whisk of his wand.
''now, seeing as you are responsible for the state of being of these pupils I suggest you make them better.'' Snape exclaims to the pale sweating boy,  ''and know that I will be forced to consider you personally responsible for any, untimely demise''.

he intructs the other pupils to gather round longbottem and the unfortunate students to watch as he treis in vain to get them to wake up, using everything from magical potions to praying.

suddenly and very unexpectenly one of the students awakes, shaken but not permanently damaged it seems, Snape sends them off to the nurse and demands Longbottem to explain how he did it, when he is unable to explain Snape demands to know who then helped him, shakenly Neville points towards Harry Potter, something wich makes Snapes heart bounce whit joy.

''Well, lets recount, for the atempted murder of several of our students Id think 100 points off for gryfindor per student seems only fair to me, and Potter for his arrogance and attempets to disrupt my authority by undermining my punishments, another 200 points, and a 5 feet essay on what mr Longbottem did wrong while waking his victems up, and for you mr longbottem I also have a fun assingment, a twelve feet essay on the potion you treid to make, the potion you actually made, the difference between them, the point in the potion making progress where you went wrong and the reason for your consistend incompetence, by tomorrow morning!''

Harry treid to protest but was quikly silenced by a especially nasty look of Snape, ''you really are just like your father, arrogant, no respect for anything beyond your meagre little minds, always making a point of breaking the rules despite the costs, its a shame you had to life where he deid'

That night as the two gryfindors where writing and curshing his name, Snape peered in his pensieve, watching a young woman whit green eyes smile towards him, ''please forgive me'' he mutterd whit a shaking voice, partly to the woman, partly to the boys writing upstairs and partly to himself.

theres alot of people out there, some are considerd old and some are considerd young, that is usually in the eyes of the beholder.
Some are considerd male and some are considerd female, that is usually quite factual, not always but usually there is no serious doubt.
Some are considerd to go to hell and some are considerd to go to heaven, but that is ofcourse just silly so we wont consider those considerations.

the one we start whit is a girl, someone once named her Lindsay and it stuck (that someone was one of her parents I think) so we will also call her Lindsay, yknow, to keep it simple.

now Lindsay is alot of things but shes not simple, the past months shes been messed up, her romantic relationships sofar ended up in shit and her relationship whit her dad is relationshit,  and coincidently she has had  a more then a freindly intrest in someone she knows for some time.
that other person is 32 years old, kinda strange, has (as was heard tell) the softest hands you can imagene and is a woman named Louise.

Lindsay was confused about her feelings for Louis, shes never had lesbian toughts before, rationally theres plenty other reasons, but none explain how the slightest touch can haunt Lindsay for weeks, so Lindsay doesnt know A) what she is feeling, B) what Louis is feeling and C) whats gonna happen whit it.

Lindsay had a fight whit her dad (again) so she could sleep over at Louises house, not the first time and the axnety has kinda left, she goes there, snores a bit and leaves again often whitouth ever even seeing Louise, and yet she is all alone in bed whit her in the house, why cant she get that out of her mind?
late at night Lindsay is pondering this in bed when suddenly she notices someone standing over her bed, she doenst move and pretend to be asleep as she hears a all to familiar voice above her, she opens her eyes and sees that face she cant get out of her mind, Louis quikly leaves again whit a BS excuse, but not before brushing Lindsays hair ever so slightly, leaving Lindsay whit a heart bounching out of her chest and a million thoughts, one of them most prominent ''WTF?''.

lindsay hasnt been able to keep her head straight (see what I did there? '''straight'' hehe, Im so funny!) all day, the one thing on her mind was ''what if'', so tonight shes gonna find out

Again late, again Lindsay in bed (after showering and washing for a couple of hours) and now shes in bed, shivering and sweating and whatnot in axnetie of whats to come, every second seems like a decade.
Then it happens, whitouth her noticing it Louis is all of the sudden leaning over Lindsay, whispering her name, Lindsay does everything in her power to stay ''asleep'', wich is especially hard when Louis puts her hand on her shoulder and moves it a bit.

Lindsay treis to hide the fact she has to recatch her breath every dew seconds by fake snoring, and it seems to have workded because soon enough she feels the hand softly rubbing her shoulder a bit and then disapearing, not 2 seconds later she notices someone getting in the bed whit her.

Louis her warm body leis right next to that of Lindsay, her hand gently moving over her arm and her lips near LIindsays ears, trying to hum her to stay asleep.
Louises leg brushes that of Lindsay, and her hand is now slowly exploring her chest and her lips now dont whisper but talk ''quit the crap Linnie, you cant fake sleep to save your life'' her other hand moves lower between Lindsays legs ''but you seem to be enjoying yourself though''.

{parental block, 18+section!!! resume to apropiate material}
about a week later Louis has to leave, for good, part of her contract, theres no escaping it, and Lindsay has her whole life there whit school and family and shit.
it took some time, but they worked something out, a perfect win win deal, what that was?
well find out once it has happend, in other words youknowwho get youknowwhat done so I can get to part 2!

its a day
a normal day for most beings, for the worms living their version of life under the ground and for the people ruing their life in wherever they work, some people want to live life some more, so they hunt, always at the same spot, on the open spot near the woods, sometimes they shoot something but its more showing their weapons to eachother, they wont shoot much because the birds all know instincly not to go near unless they have a death wish, wich is not that uncommen for birds to have.

one of these birds is Cynthia, a soon to be mommy bird of 3 little beepers, no dad in the picture so Cynthia is soly responsable for the youngsters.
another galbird, Nathalie is about to lay eggs, but this bird has a tradition to uphold, she has to find a unatended nest, luckely for Nathalie but very unfortunatly for Cynthia and her youngsters, Cynthia is out to peck the worms from their underwordly slumber and trow them into the struggle for life, theirs for that of her.

whitin notime the deed is done, and the nest now counts 4 eggs instead of 3, Cynthia doesnt even notice the difference, but who is to blame for that? noone ever learned her to count, and its too late, Nathalie now flys of into the distance, she has done her part, her role in the game of life and death has been fufilled, its time to end it, so she flys over the open spot near the woods, a bang and it ends, her death is some office jerks joy and proud story to tell the guys.

Meanwhile over at the nest of Cynthia egg nr4 started moving around, Cynthia makes sure to be seen by the new kid so they can always reconsise eachother, wich happens, Cynthia doenst feel much of a motherly love for this child, it seems kinda ugly but eh, what can one do?
the child has a very red mouth, which causes Bird mommys to NEED to put food in it, no matter what, so Cynthia is out to get some worms for the kid,  while shes gone the young kid, Kanita places its head under one of its step siblings and pushes it out towards its death, it does the same whit the other ones untill its the only one left, nothing personal, just nature.

as Cynthia returns, she is shocked, her memory is not great being a bird and all but she could swear she had more kids?!?!?! then she spots the spots on the ground, her beutifull kids are all over the place! there can be no doubt of who did this, anyone who had kids, Id like you to imagne one of them force you to have a abortion on the other ones, now you know how Cynthia felt.
Cynthia is ofcourse beyond herself, shed most love to trow the devil kid out and see it splash whit its syblings, but Kanita still has the red mouth, and before Cynthia knows whats going on she has shoved the worms in there and is out to get more.

this goes on for some weeks, Cynthia goes to her nest and shoves food in that red spot, connected to a body that soon filled the entire nest and peels over the edges, she feeds just barely when she grabs the worms for her adoptée, for alot can be said about Cynthia, but shes no idiot, she knows she could never have produced something so evil as that thing in her home.

Life is hell for Cynthia, all she does is feed the being that killed her children, but its instinct, its stronger then herself, but while flying she is thinking, and after weeks she finds a vague idea to get her out of this mess, but  she knows that she cant think about it or her instincts will take over again.

not long later shes out again fetching food, but she has been to to the park and the woods too often, its becoming risky, and even though she wouldnt mind deing its still in her instinct to survive, so she keeps looking for food at what she convinced herself to be the safest spot, a grand open spot, just near the woods.



Kanita sits in the nest, never learned to fly, she screams her lungs out, starving to death, a middle aged man called Paddy Drew walks by thinking these screams for help is a mating call, and all his freinds believe him, even though he has no education to speak of and lives the same shitlife the rest of them do he is the best hunter, he had 2 birds in the same month on a spot no living being shows up!

it doenst take long before Kanitia shrinks down to nothingness and deis, all in the scent of his own foster mother being cooked, rather killed and eaten then feeding her again.

Ms drew sits there pondering her life, her husband that keep coming home whit roadkill and claims it to be the victem of his hunting rather then his driving, shes had enough so she dips some poision in his meal, the nobone part, he hates the bones in bird, she sits there as he turns blue and drops dead, shell work out how to deal whit the body later, first eat some dinner.
But fate punishes quik, one of the bones gets stuck in her troath and she drops dead next to her hubbie.

the lesson learned here? never take kids, you dont know how many people your hurting!